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Datum12.03.2017
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introduction : my inspirationmap

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Nothing is more 'real' then living life itself, how real art as well can be.

We all, we are characters in a real novel that has been going on since ages.

Persons create persons and then vanish again.

Since thousands of years we try to put our experiences in to signs.

The more you understand about it, the harder sometimes to put it down in words.

The good man does, continues to live after him

The evil also. Positive and negative interact in completion.

The sence of it all, in every way a powerfull, meaningfull something.

One can only observe and react, starting from an indifferent equilibrium

Science can give us a logical explanation about life.

A trained observer experiences more then the logic of things

Objectiv sciences mostly only have an eye for their field.

Phylosophy, Psychology and history must unifie the other logic.


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Einstein put together the achieved and unveiled a new point of view.

Time, space and matter became more relativ then we tought.

Religion tried to make us believe in Gods and God.

Kowledge and truth still were far away from proving a new kind of unity.

Marxists tried to understand the laws of history.

Conservative establishment was against the sence of life socialism discovered.

But nobody could controle the subjectiv factor.

Freud and others tried to show the role of the unconscious.

But they did not discover the deeper meaning of life.

We all, could be more people looking for the meaning of life.

A meaning that surpasses life and dead.

But we are trapt in a lot of kinds of habits and 'pain'.
Life itself is a source of inspiration for everything I wrote about in every literary form.

I can stop writing and let it go by me till I understand the meaning of it better within a few years...or I can try to make a rapport of it every day. I taught about the structure of my day and had a look at my work and the things I studied, the documentaries I kept on video, some newspaper-articles which I kept because I thought they had a lasting value. To make this understandable voor readers, I first had to bring them a number of philosofical life-attitudes. How to start this ? Those attitudes were partly the result of a critical study of the existing attitudes and partly the result of my own practical experiences midst all kinds of persons which are to be found in everyones life.

We've all got them : family, bedfriends, friends, social and political persons,... .
With all that 'brainstorming' goiing on in my head, I was afraid of 'boiling over' and remaining on my chair till inspiration came, looked like dangerousely reaching a unallowable border. I went outside to sit on a chair and stumbled back inn. Symbolically I closed the door. Something cracked inside me.

I closed my eyes for the last time here on earth. An unexpected goodbye, where I had philosephed a lot about. A few things I had imagined, became true. The experience itself was aldough quite different, something compareable whith what I had experienced during the cremation of an old colleague of mine. There was this kind of magnetism that started in my feet and got upwards, like it seemed to be coming from the ground. When it reached my hart, I taught 'oh', 'something is definitly wrong with me'. But no, the magnetism accelerated it 's speed and once in my head, it became a kind of more-dimmensional triangle, pyramide kind of 'lightdimension' which, like a starship in scinece-fiction vanished into space. This form of yellow kind of light, did it disapear into the spaces of mikrokosmos or the ones of macrokosmos ? Or was there an indifferent equilibrium inbetween ?

Probably I was in tthe anti-matter that every matter has, in the mikrokosmical world ...but that world is eveywhere, even in the makro-world. So I did solve a part of the mystery 'god'.

In any case, there was life after dead.


During my life, I had three different options about dead. We surely fell back into the elements from which we were composed; energies like minerals, water, air, light and waves with each their own kind of consciousness. Since we were connected genetically with the rest of the biological world...we were not dead in that sense. As a third option I already suspected that all ones usable experiences in life, which had started with the genetical three ...befor ones life; after dead could be used as an energy working in two directions. That energy, like the electrons it was made of, is undestroyable; it can only

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change in form...and that is what happens to us before and during and after our life.

I experienced my 'dead' as beiing reborn in an other dimmension, in the awareness that 'I' and 'we' had already lived for ever...far before the existing of the first atom and the first cell...as a kind of physcical energy with a 'soul'. The feeling I had, was like watching the light that from the eveningcolors passes into the dark of the night and in a number of lightgradations is beiing born again in the morning.

Just as like when you are living, when you do not know if there is life after dead, when you are dead , you do not know if you still have a body or not. This is strange, very strange...from one 'mystery' you in fact dive into another.
My individuality begon a long journey alongside our collective and individual past to the point of my dead, where individuality again seemed to vanish in collectivity and yet it had a separated existence at the same time. It all happened rather fast, but on earth I would have needed many pages to discribe. The voyage I was on, went from atom to cell and the building up of our existing society, it was like checking an encyclopedy...but yet far more 'clever' than 'digital'. The more clear the message and contents from the journey were, the more effort the voyager had spent in his life, to understand the meaning of life.
The spiritual world was like a kind of internet-community, composed of the different kinds of tempers

of everyone who had existed sofar. Every life was a kind of 'home-page' in fact...with branches to all the ones in the human story they had known. 'Had known' or 'knew'...it was not yet clear to me.

It seemed that the better it became to live on earth, the more beautifull the symbolism between the ones that already past away(the pastaway's) became. Was this the moving-spring of the interaction between the two worlds ?
As soon as I reached a certain point NOW on my and our earthly past, the new laws of my new form of existence, became clear to me. They not only made my speechless, I also could not 'speek' any more, when I realised in which manner I could only express myself at the biologically lving persons.

There also was the awareness that they could use my energy and I theirs...but only in a symbolical, intuitiv manner through toughts and dreams and images and things that happened...a kind of 'inspiration' in fact.

I did not only have a 'voice' any more, I also did not 'see' any more...because I myself had become a part of light and air and all the other elements I was composed of...without knowing exactly what...like one can not see ones own intestinals and like one can only see onself in a mirror. We only can feel the intensity of who we are. Still I was able to think by means of images and taughts, like one can see images in his head in a biological body...aldough some scientists say that they aren't there.

Another thing that became clear to me, was that I did not knew if I could still 'hear', because like something that was said...I could remember hearing voices and sometimes I wondered if a voice wasn't a taught.


With 'being dead' the 'emphasis' was beiing put more on 'feeling', even 'tought' was one. Trying to feel with who in life you really were connected with. Not literaly 'feeling', but 'touching each other in the spirit', not in the 'mind'(like in the soul) on earth...but it still seemed much like the positive feelings parents and friends can have unther each other. It became clear to me that during ones life on earth all the consciousness and deeds one collects; all that positive and negative energy that interacts...at the same time on the 'other side' is beiing put together like a puzzle. The final 'result' gives you the amount of

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'selfknowledge' you have reached when you die.

Ones earthly 'soul', based on positive and negative emotions, who commands ones earthly life; sometimes let's go some pieces of 'spiritual information', we the 'pastaway's' , need...in order to be able to 'give'. Ones final dead is the unified picture of your life, offered to you. From the moment you understand this at the other side, you get a kind of spiritual orgasm that enables you to realise that you are not alone at the other side...and that one can communicate as well with other spirits over there.

Just like on earth one needs other people to be oneself. On earth somethimes some people are aware of these things, but those moments seem to disappear because the amount of events that come and go. On the 'other side' there also are thimes when one can isolate oneself...that often are moments when one is the most in unity with everyone and everything. Not always nevertheless.
Like on earth, life after dead is not always 'romantic'...because the proces of consciousness that started with the voyage from atom to cell, organism, animal, men and society...that proces continues after dead. It depends on your merrits whether you are armed to be able to continue that awareness-project. Your 'hierarchy' as well depends from your merrits...and this has not much to to with the diploms you got, neither with the kind of work you did? You ,'biological living ones' should be amazed about some people you taught you knew and who they are over here. But later more about that. If I get permission to say something about it, I will, but I have a feeling I won't.

To be able to explain all this I have to get back to my puzzle of life

I did not only have a 'voice' any more, I also did not 'see' any more...because I myself had become a part of light and air and all the other elements I was composed of...without knowing exactly what...like one can not see ones own intestinals and like one can only see onself in a mirror. We only can feel the intensity of who we are. Still I was able to think by means of images and taughts, like one can see images in his head in a biological body...aldough some scientists say that they aren't there.

Another thing that became clear to me, was that I did not knew if I could still 'hear', because like something that was said...I could remember hearing voices and sometimes I wondered if a voice wasn't a taught.


With 'being dead' the 'emphasis' was beiing put more on 'feeling', even 'tought' was one. Trying to feel with who in life you really were connected with. Not literaly 'feeling', but 'touching each other in the spirit', not in the 'mind'(like in the soul) on earth...but it still seemed much like the positive feelings parents and friends can have for each other. It became clear to me that during ones life on earth all the consciousness and deeds one collects; all that positive and negative energy that interacts...at the same time on the 'other side' is beiing put together like a puzzle. The final 'result' gives you the amount of 'selfknowledge' you have reached when you die.

Ones earthly 'soul', based on positive and negative emotions, who commands ones earthly life; sometimes let's go some pieces of 'spiritual information', we the 'pastaway's' , need...in order to be able to 'give'. Ones final dead is the unified picture of your life, offered to you. From the moment you understand this at the other side, you get a kind of spiritual orgasm that enables you to realise that you are not alone at the other side...and that one can communicate as well with other spirits over there.

Just like on earth one needs other people to be oneself. On earth somethimes some people are aware of these things, but those moments seem to disappear because the amount of events that come and go. On the 'other side' there also are thimes when one can isolate oneself...that often are moments when one is the most in unity with everyone and everything. Not always nevertheless.

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Like on earth, life after dead is not always 'romantic'...because the proces of consciousness that started with the voyage from atom to cell, organism, animal, men and society...that proces continues after dead. It depends on your merrits whether you are armed to be able to continue that awareness-project. Your 'hierarchy' as well depends from your merrits...and this has not much to to with the diploms you got, neither with the kind of work you did? You ,'biological living ones' should be amazed about some people you taught you knew and who they are over here. But later more about that. If I get permission to say something about it, I will, but I have a feeling I won't.

To be able to explain all this I have to get back to my puzzle of life


There was a reason why I had lived and why still live

I 'watched' the places in the world that I had abondoned and 'saw' de growth of the harvests on the fields near the roades I had lived and traveled. I saw the cars on the roads and the smoke coming from factories and some houses. I saw the animals,but he people, I did not see. Maybe I was in the people and that is why I could not see them any more.

Very strange in the begining. My friends only lived in my memories...I only could see them in my memories, which was a way of better understanding how they felt...even on a present stage basis.

But how they felt did not preoccupy me at the moment, I needed my energy to concentrate on a text of a novel or essay I wanted to complete. I had called the introduction 'my inspiration maps'.

I saw the text lying on my desk, but how could I finish this book ?

Maybe there somewhere was a writer with still a biological life to lead, who read one of my former works and did not have any inspiration of from himself at the moment. During my life I had called into existense enough energy to allow me at this moment to be 'connected' with a living soulmate.

I would finish my book, through him. Sometimes he would be aware of my special kind of presence without knowing. Sometimes we were aware of each other, when he walked amongst the threes in the wood and taught about something he read about me. I always wanted to plant a wood myself and there was this writer who lived in a wood near a pont and entered his chalet, took the newspaper and cut out my foto and an article on my life. It gave me new energy to continue writing. A lot of writers were still continuiing something amongst 'us' and 'them'. Sometimes there seemed to be no difference amongst 'them' and 'we'. Aldough we did not see 'them' busy with something...we felt what was going on in their world. Like the living sommetimes were busy with the question what would happen after their dead, we, 'pastaways' were busy wondering what our next life in the 'afterafterworld' would be like. Our form of energy in the afterworld wasn't eternal either and one day would change it's form as well. Qualitivaly we had we had bettered ourselves because we mainly communicated with spirits from the afterworld that used to havethe same interests as we. It was signitivaly how each of us tried to do this in his own way.

Those who as farmers had been concerned about agriculture, received energy from those who liked doiing this on earth. Communication between both sides worked as a system of connected fluids in different spaces. The greadyness of a minority of farmers or landowners on earth often prevented the flowing of communication between farmers that were past away and those still active on earth. Sometimes the representatives of the farmers in the afterworld came looking for advice with spirits that often had to deal with the same problems when they worked as farmers for exemple.

Then their was a communication amongst them and only the fact of this 'exchange' itself made it possible to generate some actions below that would improve something or that made farmers below aware. But sometimes it looked like a neverending struggle.

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In the afterworld, the ones who caused those problems in the past suffered untill some improvement was made.

So my friend the medium-writer had to tell people below to watch out and think about the suffering of their relatives in an heaven, that wasn't always 'heaven' to them. Their relatives or people responsible for some misery of others should have to do something about it...befor they end in the same position. If they act know, collaboraters of blockades between this world and the next shall free themselves. In the afterworld the painly part of the existence of ordinary working people is more quickly healed then of those who were responsible for big decissions. People who had mainly good intentions adapt very easily in what the afterworld has to offer. People who produced many goog waves anddid many good things to help others ...still can feel how they are doiing...without suffering and without beiing able to help them, when they aren't conscious enough to ask it.

Those wise 'afterworld'-men only can give some inspiration and advice, but the 'antennes' of the biologically living people have to be functiong...and they don't when they are not in an emotional balance. Someone with to much negative emotions is a real problem for both the one below who is partly responsible for those emotions as for the one on earth. In many cases, help must come from other identities.

The afterworld in which we function, only can make us philosophing about our 'afterafterworld' because from time to time some 'spirits' disappear here, like on earth, some 'souls' dissapear.

We use the term 'afterspiritss' here. We are trying to find the way to get in contact with them. Like on earth we still are in a kind of phase in between. Such a phase, like on earth you can divide in a number of stages of progressing or backsliding consciousness. Once more, what was already clear to me on earth became more clear to me in the afterworld. Everything is one and connected, but there are a numbe of phases. Like from silence seven sounds are born, with whom one can compose music, like from white all other colors are born. Like tought, feelling and inspiration can produce at least seven expressions of literature...from shouting to poetry.....Like one can touch someones skin in several ways as well. It was rather strange that some of us missed those last feelings and others didn't. Wy ? Again a question for us to solve. Did 'time' only continued to exist for those not feeling well because of existing ?

Looking out for a new stage of existing in our development was a new kind of enigma, riddle to us.

I , unlike others, did not believe that we were going to reincarnate in an other earhly body after disapearing out of the afterlife. I believed more in spiritual growth and trying to show the ones on earth, our genetical three, we partly left behind; that they had to help themselves to be get conscious happy and make a better world...in order to have a better life as well in the afterworld and help us at the same time by doing so. Our mutual development was interdependend.

I wasn' t much 'home-sick', I did not want to go back to the physical soullife, that was the embryo of our spirit and I did not think it was possible to return. Maybe I never know if some of my friends in the afterworld would have indeed reincarnated...or if they would have been 'promoted' to the afterafterworld. They'd better leave those reincarnation-ideas to the policy of the 'wisdom of the genetics' of the earth. I , for the moment was already satisfied enough sharing the positive events on earth and seeing there really was a lot of hope for the world.

We spirits, in fact lived partly in the same world as the earth-people. Because we were pure air and light and waves...again, we were part of their chain of nutrition...and we had an influence on their daily lives. Some of my friends in spirit even went so far to think they could partly return by beiing present in genetical material. "No wonder an ejaculation is

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such a crowdy buzzy rush-thing", I joked. There had to be a number of connections between the three different kind of worlds, just like the past and the present and the future are in fact one...maybe the earthly-life, the afterworld and the afterafterworld were one as well,all together interacting in a dialectical way.

In the afterworld it was as well 2003 as below, and I was there since 1979 already. We used the same time and in fact there only was one...others said that according to Einstein everything was possible, even returning to the middle ages as a baby...but I answered that they should not use Einsteins inventions to but him those words in his mouth. By the way, did anybody see Albert here ?

Nobody answered, so probably he already was in the future.
I 'listened' to stories of the lives of my friends in spirit, and I answered just by beiing 'present', that's the way we talk over here. My conclusions were sent to the interfering frequencies of the medium-writer on earth I was in contact with...not like 'dictating', but just 'waving' some inspiration together, like one picks flowers and afterwards gives them as a present. My memories and his experiences produced the rest of the spiritual food. It depended of what kind of literature the medium-writer wanted to write in, in which neighbourhood in the spiritual world I was to be found.

He is a good writer, because I often am to be found on high frequencies.

I decided to review some of the things I wrote in my time. In my earthly days I always had to look and look again to find my text...here they came faster then an internetconnection to me, without having to type something on a search-machine. The fact that I was buzzy doing that was enough for the writer to have courage to continue with his work on special energies after his morningwalk. Maybe some day, he would discover us ? My wish to write again, became his wish to write again and otherwise.

Where to write about ? About the ones who comit suicide on earth ? Some of them exausted themselves on earth because they had to many good intentions towards to much people...they recovered more quickly the the ones who spent a life complaining about their lives. Sometimes they didn't cure at all. A lot of people who had died and who were no suiciders, in fact were suiciders on a long time basis. They could cure spiritually as well because it wasn't always there fault that they didn't discoverd the role of structures and people and emotions in their lives.

Sometimes we in the afterworld supose that the afterafterworld can guide some energy from the ones with less energy to the ones with not enough energy. I think I'm not ready for that job jet.

I had to many experiences giving my energy away for free in my lifetime...maybe it never was my decision...and maybe the decision was taken above my head.

To change energy seemed to be to me a far healtier proces then only profiting from someones stock. It means learning to express yourself and act in the commun interest I think. I means recognising ones limits and possibilities in the total picture of connections. In the afterworld those who can give advice, do not have to suffer any more by taking over the sorrow of others.

I discovered that the more people were victims of fear and not-knowing, the more they were influenced by negative ideas. The negative influence of pastaways who did much damage below, lived after them, but could not come back. Only the positive could come back. It really was encouraging. The meaning of life, in fact was that everyone should learn how to get really 'strong' and 'good' in order to learn how to be able to be a good advicer in the 'hereafter'.

If you didn't discover the truth about your own life, you would return to the pure elements of nature, without being aware of who you in fact were. The meaning of life was, is and shall thus be of preparing yourself for afterlife, each in ones own way...whether that is

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cultivating tomatoes or writing, it can have the same result. Life is not only transmitted through genes, but also by means of air and light and waves and the rest of nature's transport.

Life can be passed on, not only genetecally, but also by the elements in nature unther the form of energy...if it had gained the power to do so. Important to know was that one always could be present in the dimmension you left...not only genetically...but also in the elements you fell apart in.

Even past, present and future were one and for some in a large extent for-feelable.

From my new kind of feeling I could pas this to the writer that I cared for almost half of a century (even when I was alife). He had read a few of my novelles. I could help him finish his search...and I proved him that only 'the good' , the source of everything could return. Because I knew he still needed prove...so I helped him. He knew that 'nothing' could not existed...because everything always tends to explode when it is equal or near ZERO...something without contence cannot exists, meaninglesnes cannot exist. The smalle something gets the more pressure is exposed on it. This is the same for stars as for human relations.

He knew that the electrons were the undestroyable brics of everything. He knew a lot about the elements eand the game of electrons with their proton and neutron charged atomnucleons and their condition of indifferent equilibrism. Whenever he was studying I helped him reach the symbolism behind al those laws. He was enormously interested in the things of science. He realisied he always met the right persons and read the right books to help him answering the links between life and dead.

He found out that with every end of something fysical, chemical,...)the consciousness of those elements moved to the not yet vanished elements...because the wisdom of the original composition did not have to disapear. Thus physics and chemics became biology, because the main law of life is that everything is an evolution to more and more consciousness. The first cells die without beiing able to multiply themselves.

The consciousness of those cells came as a kind of energy 'visiting' the folowing cells that still had a classical living string with nature ...in those days when there were not yet organisms thar could move independendly. The consciousness of the 'dead' but not 'dead' material (who was transformed in another kind of matter) came visiting the new still living cells giving them 'advice'. Those visits let to cells beiing able to DIVIDE themselves...which let to biological reproduction , the first independent organisms and a consciousness that became more the just the sum of the elements and combinations it was build of. Nature was trying to teach us, that in order to survive you had to learn how to divide. Then came the step from animal to men...from looking to things to thinking about things. Men build relationships in their tribe, later their village, their town and so on. On a graveyard in a village you can see the amount of combination life used to use to guide the game of attraction and repulsion, of equality...to always filter passed and present.

Poverty, wars and natural disasters have intervened in this 'wanting to be of beiing'...they must be prevented because they disrup things on a certain level. We have to get aware of this.



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